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Could someone give me an idea how easy this DIY would be?

I would like to install a security system for my front entrance. It woul involve a leverage system that can be activated from another room, so that when required, a cauldron of boiling oil can be poured onto any unwelcome guest. What needs to be done here?

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19 Responses to “Could someone give me an idea how easy this DIY would be?”

  1. Duk Dong said :

    Just take the easy route, dig a moat put in a few gators and pirhana and you’re done!

  2. Jonathan said :

    Make sure your front wall is capable of supporting the desired cauldron volume and weight (including boiling oil). Then, apply for planning permission for said external apparatus (unless you wish to have boiling oil fumes in your house!)

    A simple system of metal brackets and levers should suffice, check Jewson or B&Q for these. Make sure you use the correct masonry screws and bolts.

  3. nwlovesgw said :

    Put a large sign out front that tells people you aren’t accepting guests.Or a sign that says “I will only be accepting guests from blank time until blank time.All others must re-schedule” ME? I just don’t answer my bell.Rude , aren’t I??? lol…

  4. crazeygrazey said :

    An oubliette is much tidier and no mess to clear up.

  5. sosgez said :

    Don’t forget to do the risk assessment, and take precautions for working at height. You might also touch base with your insurer. After all that work, you want to make sure its covered on the house or contents insurance don’t you.

  6. inskinonbike said :

    I found that shotguns work much better and the mess is always outside the gate, also when they go orff I can say, “dammed good show what”

  7. Lindum said :

    Historical reference – such ‘murder’ holes were common in barbican entrances to outer walls in castles-


    Seasoned oak beams- 8inch sq in section 12 ft long.
    Iron (or bronze if your are posh) cauldron
    Hemp or Flax rope (tarred) – Chain is better.
    Iron grid for fire cage.

    Full instructions visit

    Also further reading: Castles, Murder-holes and Sieges by B.A. Tyrant

    Hope this helps

    Note The Health and Safety Exec. tend to have rigorous inspections of these installations.

  8. DavidLenn said :

    Pray wear a thick and robust hat always. You don’t want boiling oil pouring onto a unprotected scalp if you ever make an error when handling the security system

  9. auntie gee said :

    Tricky as the devices suggested would need to discriminate between welcome and unwelcome guests so you might also need a camera or a dog.

  10. atexx2 said :

    a really big, mean dog would be better, it will provide needed companionship when needed,

    that way a gas pipe would not be needed to be run to keep the oil boiling, which is a major cost

  11. Flamingo Kid said :

    If you are going to a “cauldron” size pot you will need a permit for that due to the weight. Anything less and it should be an easy diy.

  12. boy boy said :

    i could give you the name of a good head shrink really need one ..honest !

  13. toadoflossers said :

    Good heavens man – nobody here would expect YOU to DIY – get a little man in to do it for you ! –

  14. I know nothing said :


  15. ricky.morgan31 said :

    How about an electrically operated solenoid, with a radio controlled operation button.

  16. Celeb Star said :

    first you need to get your aunt to practice on.

  17. bo3bgh said :

    Boiling oil would tend to damage your property & leave an ugly mess in your hallway. May I suggest you obtain the services of a sinister, local engineering student to convert a simple home carpet steam cleaner into an appliance useful to your whims-much neater & healthy. In regards to “banging in the basement”- if this is a servant, he is receiving free rooming from you & must be found & put to work immediatly! (docking his salary for the free time spent in your basement). If no servant is found & banging persists, Then I suggest opening your basement for tourism & board ( place a few cheap cots in basement) Example: “For a moderate price, you can tour or even seek accomondations in THE HAUNTED BASEMENT. Hey, everyone can put a few extra quid to good use.

  18. jackie m said :

    why not get your slaves to do it for you?????

  19. Big kid said :

    When you have finished it can you fit one for me? Im sick of door to door salesmen and Jehovas witnesses


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